What are you afraid of? I'm not afraid of anything. Ha! Just kidding. I don't think there is a person on earth that isn't afraid of something. There are numerous listings of fears if you want to do the search on the web. One of my favorites is hexakosioihexikontahexiphobia, the fear of the number 666. Weird. One fear I think we all have in common is metathesiophobia, the fear of change. Yes, there is a word for it. There are similar fears--neophobia--the fear of the new; cainophobia--the fear of newness; allagiphobia--the fear of things getting worse. All describe the same thing to a certain extent.
I have a patient I have worked with for almost a year that won't change. Some might say "can't," but, I believe anyone can change. Christian psychiatrists, Minirth & Meier, wrote a book entitled, "Happiness is a Choice." Well, change is a choice as well. Why won't my patient change? A good friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic. In 12-step programs, they like to say a person has to hit bottom before they decide to change. His response to that is, "You can put down the shovel anytime." What he is saying is a person has to get to the place where they want to change. That is their bottom. They have to want the change. However, they have to want to so bad, they are willing to confront their fear of change.
The other day, I asked this patient what he was afraid of, why he wouldn't change. Each time he gave me an answer, I asked him again, "What are you afraid of?" Though it seemed redundant, the point I was trying to make was that, ultimately, we choose not to change because we allow our fears to dominate our thinking. We give in to them without challenging them and asking ourselves, "What am I really afraid of anyway?"
Paul told Timothy, "The Spirit God gave us does not make us timid (fearful), but gives us power, love, and self-discipline (II Tim. 1:7)." Our fears are not of God, they are man-made. Change can happen because God has given us the power we need to make that change. We have to decide it is a priority, that we really do want to change, and that we are willing to confront whatever it is we are afraid of in order for that change to occur. We don't have to do this alone. We can listen to the Holy Spirit whose role it is to convict us of what needs to change in us. Then, He will make it all possible.
Name your fear. Ask yourself if you are really ready to change. Ask yourself what you are afraid of, and ask that same question each time you give an answer, until you get to the place you realize there really is nothing to fear. I find it helpful to pray this prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."--Reinhold Niebuhr
I have a patient I have worked with for almost a year that won't change. Some might say "can't," but, I believe anyone can change. Christian psychiatrists, Minirth & Meier, wrote a book entitled, "Happiness is a Choice." Well, change is a choice as well. Why won't my patient change? A good friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic. In 12-step programs, they like to say a person has to hit bottom before they decide to change. His response to that is, "You can put down the shovel anytime." What he is saying is a person has to get to the place where they want to change. That is their bottom. They have to want the change. However, they have to want to so bad, they are willing to confront their fear of change.
The other day, I asked this patient what he was afraid of, why he wouldn't change. Each time he gave me an answer, I asked him again, "What are you afraid of?" Though it seemed redundant, the point I was trying to make was that, ultimately, we choose not to change because we allow our fears to dominate our thinking. We give in to them without challenging them and asking ourselves, "What am I really afraid of anyway?"
Paul told Timothy, "The Spirit God gave us does not make us timid (fearful), but gives us power, love, and self-discipline (II Tim. 1:7)." Our fears are not of God, they are man-made. Change can happen because God has given us the power we need to make that change. We have to decide it is a priority, that we really do want to change, and that we are willing to confront whatever it is we are afraid of in order for that change to occur. We don't have to do this alone. We can listen to the Holy Spirit whose role it is to convict us of what needs to change in us. Then, He will make it all possible.
Name your fear. Ask yourself if you are really ready to change. Ask yourself what you are afraid of, and ask that same question each time you give an answer, until you get to the place you realize there really is nothing to fear. I find it helpful to pray this prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."--Reinhold Niebuhr
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