Thanks mom...I love you

I had to find some way to honor my mother who passed away a few days ago.  Tonight, it struck me what it was about her that I will miss the most.  I put a picture of her with my kids on my computer as a screensaver.  As I stared at it, it was the perfect pose.  It seemed so real that it brought me to tears.  As I continued to gaze at the expression on her face, I realized what it was; it was the half-smile and attentive eyes looking back at me.  It was what the expression was communicating that was important.  The look on her face said, "I care about what is of concern to you and I will support you in any way that I can; but..."

My mom was my biggest advocate.  She was really my hero.  She was actually my aunt, someone who married into the family; but, when I was placed in an orphange, she decided to take me and raise me herself.  That's how she became my mom.  She had to fight my biological father to do it, but she did.  She fought for me on more than a few occasions after that as well.  Some of those battles were fought on her knees.  She was a strong woman of faith and she modeled that faith for me.  She didn't preach, but, she taught me much about God by the way she lived.  I know that I disappointed her many times and hurt her deeply by some of the poor decisions I made.  I praise God she knows that my heart is right with God today.

As my biggest supporter, I turned to her often with what was going on in my life.  She was one person I could turn to who always cared about what was going on in my life.  She knew of the good times and the difficult times I had to face.  I called her when I had surgery and asked for her prayers.  What I really wanted was to be comforted by her, even though I was 25 years old.  I shared with her of trials at work, challenges of parenting, struggles with my faith, as well as the victories, dreams, and successes.  I always wanted to share with her; because, I knew she cared and would be supportive, but...

I loved to tease my mom.  That was sometimes what that smile was about, but at other times, it said, "You aren't fooling anybody but yourself."  From the time I was young, I saw she was a woman who had wisdom.  She knew what I needed and often that was what she gave me, but she taught me many lessons on how to do without.  She taught me about humility, trust in God and His faithfulness, and about being a servant.  In her life, others always came first.  She wouldn't tolerate selfishness in me either.  But, she more than made up for what I gave up, by giving me her love and support.

And, that is what I will miss the most.  We have so few people in our lives who are willing to love us unconditionally.  When we lose one, that means we have even fewer.  I will miss not being able to tell her about how my kids are driving me crazy, and at the same time, how proud of them I am.  I will miss asking her for prayers when I go on mission trips.  I will miss seeing her smile and experiencing her love and support, as well as her "but..."  I will rejoice in her being with our Lord and Savior, in the presence of the most holy One, but...I am happy for her.  She will be very hard to replace.

Decisions, decisions???

Does God care whether I buy a VW or a Cadillac if I can afford either one?
That isn't the question I really want to address but it illustrates sometimes the debate over whether we can know the will of God or not.  This question actually came up in an adult Sunday School class I attended once upon a time.  It led to a very spirited debate.  Quite frankly, I don't even remember what the topic of discussion was about in the first place.

The question I really want to ask is, "At what point do we involve God in our decision-making?  Often it isn't until after all the details have been worked out and we are asking God to bless what we have already done or decided to do.  For some, it isn't until their decisions have led to a crisis or place of difficulty where they know they have no other resort than to ask God to bail them out...again.

When you read the Old Testament, especially the books of I & II Kings and Judges, you see this was the pattern of the people of Israel.  They would forget the things the Lord had done for them, make decisions to worship other gods, wind up in captivity, and then ask God to come to their rescue.  We look with incredulity at their ignorance, but are we really any different?

If we truly want to be different, we might want to look at the example of Gideon.  He presented to God all the questions and concerns that he had, as well as the self-doubt he felt when he thought about being a leader (Judges 6).  His protests were heard by God but God's response was simply to say, "I will be with you."  And that is all that was needed.

The same is true for us.  We don't need to know the future.  We don't need to see the whole picture.  We need only to know that God is with us.  And God is willing to do whatever we need for Him to be real to us.  God does not punish us for our doubts, fears, and uncertainties.  He does not mind that we put Him to the test.  He invites us to do so.  God wants us to know that He has no intention of letting us down or allowing us to fail.  But, we need to be honest with Him about our concerns and look for His reassurance.  His words to us are similar to those He spoke to Gideon, "Go in the strength you have...Am I not sending you?"

What should we do?

How should a leader respond?  How should any of us respond?  Of course I'm talking about the senseless killing of 26 people, mostly grade-school children in Connecticut.  Is there a right way to respond?  Today after worship, it was the subject of many conversations, including several at home.  One thing I am convinced of is that our response depends on who is asking and what they are asking.

An incident like this creates conflicting emotions in us of confusion, curiousity, and concern.  Most of us wonder why this happened, but most likely we won't every really know the answer completely.  We can assume it was an angry young man who was very disturbed.  Aside from that, we shouldn't try to make too much sense of it, because it doesn't make sense.  It was an irrational act and not the action of a person whose mind was in the right place.

Others have expressed concern.  Mostly we feel helpless because we are not in a position to minister directly to those who are hurting the most, the families and friends of the victims.  We can pray for them.  If we want to do something tangible, we could send flowers or cards.  Maybe there are other creative ways we can let them know we are sorry for their loss, but there really isn't much we can do that really matters, other than pray.  And, that does make a difference.  We can believe that it does.  But, what other response would be appropriate at this time?

The most challenging question we all have to deal with is, "What do we do with this?"  What do we do with this tragic, surreal event, so that we can get on with our own lives, and not let it have a negative impact on us.  True, this didn't happen to us, but it happened and it affects our worldview.  It has happened before, many times now.  It is happening with more and more frequency.  What is going on here and what needs to be done about it?  Something needs to be done, right?

In my children's school tomorrow, they will be asked to participate in an activity that the teachers "hope will provide some reassurance and faith in each other."  Their other objectives are admirable, but even my 12-year-old son was able to see what was wrong with what they were trying to accomplish.  They want it all to go away.  They want everything to get better.  They want everybody to like each other again and get along.  But as he was able to understand, nothing is going to get better until we get better.  In a passage most of us by now are familiar with, the Lord told Solomon and the people of Israel, "If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land (II Chron. 7:14)."

No, I am not saying this is God's judgement on anyone in particular.  I am absolutely not saying these children died because they had sinned.  We are responsible, not them.  They are innocent, but we are not.  At times like this, our best response is to turn to God and ask forgiveness.  We have to accept some of the responsibility for a culture in which young men turn out this way.  There have been too many incidents similar to this, for us to turn away and pretend things aren't so bad.  We can't keep saying that this is an unusual situation.  And that is why some of us will continue to think about this and wonder about it and wonder if we shouldn't do something about it.

If we accept our own responsibility, confess our own sin, that will create space for God to speak to us and show us what He wants to do through this.  Nothing that we try to do on our own will make much of a difference.  We want too quickly to get past it and forget about it.  Our efforts will be merely bandaids on a gaping wound.  Though God did not prevent this incident from happening, He has promised that He can bring good out of it.  He can bring about healing...for those who were most affected and for the rest of us.  But, leaders especially must submit to God and ask for Him to lead us in our understanding of how we should respond.  We must come before Him with humility and ask for His forgiveness and ask for Him to heal us, and to heal others through us.

Godspeed, Doulos

If you would be interested in a study on "Leading From the Heart" contact me at:
Email: eph411ff@yahoo.com
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/phillip-foster/36/130/5b1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How does a young man keep his way pure?

It isn't easy.  Aside from my own personal struggle, I have worked with hundreds, yes hundreds of  men who have struggled to keep their lives pure: single men, married men, pre-teens, teens, young adults, middle age adults, businessmen, blue collar workers, Bible college students, and pastors.  No one seems exempt from having to fight this battle.  In fact, Steve Arterburn called his book by the title, "Every Man's Battle."  There are many who have fallen, bodies strewn along the paths, jobs lost, marriages ended, families destroyed.  There is no way of calculating the amount of damage that has been done.  But, what is a young man to do?  The temptation is everywhere you turn.  You can't escape it.  So, what is the answer?  How does a young man keep his way pure?

The Psalmist tells us the answer, "By living according to your word (Ps. 119:9)."

Seems simple enough.  Thankfully, he gives us further instructions.  Three things are important:

1. Seek God with all your heart.
2. Hide God's Word in your heart.
3. Follow His statutes.

God tells us through Jeremiah, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart (Jer. 29:13)."  Why is this important?  Because, God has a plan for our lives; but, unless we put our all into it, we will never know it.  Many of those I have worked with are unwilling to put forth the effort that it will take to remain pure.  The writer of Proverbs tells of the young man who was so simple, who did not bother to discern the right thing to do, that failed to keep his way pure, who experienced the consequences for being that way.  Purity is not accomplished through being passive.  Paul wrote to the Philippians that, among other things, whatever is pure they should put their focus upon.  Most importantly, we must focus upon God's plan for our lives and we can know that through His word.

The Psalmist speaks of hiding God's word in his heart so that he doesn't sin.  That doesn't mean he put it somewhere that he couldn't find it.  Later, he writes, "With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth (v. 13)."  He also states, "I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways; I will not neglect your word (v. 15-16)."  Does this sound like a casual approach to dealing with temptation?  No.  This is a soldier arming himself with the weapons he needs to be able to fight the battle he knows he will have to face.  Just as Jesus fought with the enemy in the wilderness with the Scripture, we need to be prepared with an answer from the Word when we are tempted to sin.

The Psalmist states, "I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches (v. 14)."  For him, it wasn't a chore, an obligation or another responsibility.  Why is he so excited about following a bunch of rules?  We get an idea of what made this important to him later in this chapter, "Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors (vs. 24)."  In other parts of this same chapter, he states that keeping God's word gives him freedom, strength, comfort in suffering, deliverance.  "All Scripture is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness (II Tim. 3:16)."  It is especially useful for helping a young man remain pure...an old man as well.

Godspeed, Doulos

The Oxygen Mask Principle

Believe it or not, God really wants us to enjoy a good life.  Peter Scazzero writes in his book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, "God never asked us to die to the healthy desires and pleasures of life--to friendships, joy, art, music, beauty, recreation, laughter, and nature."  However, some of us act as though it is a sin to even take care of our most basic needs, let alone do something for ourselves that we want to do.  As a professional people-helper, I know that I must take care of myself if I am to be able to help anyone else.  I call it the "oxygen mask principle."

If you have ever been on an airplane and observed the steward(ess) give the spiel on what to do if there is a crisis on board, you will remember that she provides instructions on what to do when the oxygen mask drops down.  You are to put it on yourself before putting it on the child next to you (assuming it is your own child).  Why?  Because if you pass out from a lack of oxygen, you won't be able to help the child.  The same is true in ministry.  If you don't take care of yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, you won't be in a position to help others.

This is a truth I have shared with parents, physicians, pastors, and other counselors. but it is especially true for those in the ministry or practice of helping others.  Although we are instructed to consider the needs of others before our own, and to be willing to lay down our lives for another, we are also told to love others as ourselves.  To love ourselves is not an act of selfishness, but rather good stewardship.  Trying to meet the needs of others without taking care of ourselves is like trying to fill a glass with an empty pitcher.

Good stewardship of self means, first of all, meeting our own spiritual needs by spending time nurturing your own relationship with God.  Jesus modeled this quite well.  We read in the Scripture that He often would go somewhere to pray by Himself (Matt. 14:23; Mark 1:35, 6:46; Luke 5:16).  Scazzero warns us that, "work for God that is not nourished by a deep interior life with God will eventually be contaminated by other things such as ego, power, needing approval of and from others, and buying into the wrong ideas of success and the mistaken belief that we can't fail."

Those ministering to others also need to be certain their emotional needs are met, as well as their physical needs, and other needs.  I hope to address those in later blogs.  But, I would encourage you to start by making time with the Lord your highest priority.  As I have said before, create space for God, so that He can demonstrate His love for you, bring healing to you, and give you the desires of your heart.

Godspeed, Doulos

Take heart!

The disciples must have been a little confused.  Jesus tells them that, in spite of His death and His leaving, they will have peace.  Then, He appears to contradict Himself by saying that in this world, they would have trials.  So, which is it?  It's both.  Okay, so now I'm confused.

The disciples initially must have felt rather insecure as Jesus spoke of leaving them.  They didn't yet understand about the resurrection and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  They only knew that He had been with them and they felt safe, secure, full of hope.  Now, their hope was about to vanish.  I'm sure we know the feeling.

I refer to this passage quite frequently as I counsel with Christian friends and others who are going through difficult times.  We really have no reason to believe that things will always go well for us or that we will somehow escape the difficulties that everyone else has to face.  Yet, often when we experience trials, we are in disbelief that God would allow us, His precious possession to have to suffer in the same way that others do.  Sometimes, we may feel the same way the disciples did, without hope.

I attended two funerals recently and most likely will experience a third in the very near future.  The first was the funeral of a former elder of a church where I used to attend.  He was a man of great conviction with a witness that had influenced several generations of family and others in the church.  His wife, family, friends, and others would grieve, but we are told in the Scriptures, "It is appointed unto man once to die."  He would be no exception.  The second funeral was for the wife of a man who had worked with me in ministry over the last two years.  His wife was only 48 and they had 6 children.  It took me over an hour to reach him once I entered the church during the visitation, and still the crowds kept coming.  She had meant so much to so many.  It was going to be difficult for the husband, my friend, to raise 6 children on his own.  Sadness would be a steady part of their diet for awhile.  They had reason to question why God would allow them to suffer their loss.

The funeral I expect to experience soon is that of my mother.  She is in her last days of battling cancer.  She has beaten cancer three times already.  The cancer has at times caused her significant levels of pain.  Chemotherapy and other medical treatments have often been very uncomfortable.  She will be spending her last days in a nursing home.  She has suffered from numerous trials throughout her life.  In fact, I was one of those trials.  I caused her a great deal of grief when I left the church, abandoned my relationship with God, rebelled against everything that she had taught and modeled for me.  I praise God she has witnessed the renewal of my faith and my involvement in ministry.  Still, there were other trials.  If there was ever a person who deserved to be spared suffering, it was her.  But, that was not the case.

In this world, we will have trials.  At the funerals I attended, I found individuals who were experiencing peace.  In my mother's situation, I know she has peace.  Most of her family and her friends have peace.  We can have peace when we face trials of different kinds, because of a bold statement Jesus made to His disciples.  He told them, "In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties.  But, take heart! I've conquered the world."  Though we may face trials, difficulties, pain, suffering, we can have peace; because, we know that our Savior has been there, and He has fought that battle and He has been victorious.  Nothing that we face in this world can defeat us.  Victory is ours because of what He accomplished on the cross.

Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome who were enduring significant trials of their own, "Who shall seperate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us...Nothing can seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom. 8:35-39)."  I encourage you to take heart.  Peace is available because Jesus Christ has gone before us.  He has promised us peace because He has overcome the world.  We win!

Godspeed, Doulos
 

"I mean it."

Did you ever hear someone say something similar, as though it added some note of sincerity to what they had just stated, or somehow it was supposed to help you understand they really were being serious?  Or maybe you have used these words yourself when you made some kind of statement or a promise.  "Honest, I mean it.  I really, really, really do...this time."

Well, God said something similar to the children of Israel.  Only, He didn't have to try and make it sound like He really, really meant it.  They knew it.  They knew they had better take God seriously.  Moses records for us the words God spoke to them.

"Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law.  They are not just idle words for you--they are your life (Deut. 32:46-47)!"

The other day I received a text from my daughter after sending her one reminding her she needed to come home from school and do her homework, practice piano, and clean her room.  The text from her read as follows, "Seriously????? And.i already knew all. that stuff."  Both of my children have made it abundantly clear they don't like to be reminded to do things they already know they are supposed to do.  But, apparently the part of the brain that knows what needs to be done isn't communicating to the part of the brain that tells them to actually do it.

As a follower of Christ, I often send God the same message, " I know.  I don't need to be reminded."  And yet, what I know needs to be done isn't always getting done.  Maybe it is because I don't really take God seriously.  Maybe it's because the consequences don't always seem to follow immediately after the transgression.  Maybe it's because I take God's grace for granted.  Maybe I just don't appreciate that these words, His words, are the source of life for me.

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life.  No man comes to the Father except through me (John 14:6)."  If I really want the life that He has to offer, I need to take Him seriously.  I really think He meant what He said.  Don't you?

Godspeed, Phil

Pay attention!

Do you remember your teachers saying this?  When we are younger, early in our school years, we need these kind of prompts.  Otherwise, our attention is all over the place.  Attention is a skill that is developed and it is developed sequentially.  First, a child learns to put their attention on something, often as a response to directions from our teachers or parents or others.  As our brains mature, we learn to put our attention on something and to keep it there,  We learn to sustain our attention long enough to learn whatever we are being taught or able to experience.  That is how we learn what others are trying to teach us.  Finally, we need to be able to put our attention on something, sustain our attention, and to do so without being distracted.  How are we doing so far?

Ruth Haley Barton ("Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership") states, "Learning to pay attention and kowing what to pay attention to is a key discipline for leaders but one that rarely comes naturally to those of us who are barreling through life with our eyes fixed on a goal."

She goes on to say, "Many of us are choosing to live lives that do not set us up to pay attention, to notice those places where God is at work and to ask ourselves what these things mean."

Ex. 3:1-3--"Moses was shepherding the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian...The angel of God appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush.  Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up.  So Moses thought, 'I will go over and see this strange sight--why the bush does not burn up.'"

Have you noticed that God has a sense for the theatrical.  He could have spoken to Mose as He speaks to many of us, through a song sung by a choir during worship, or from a passage of Scripture read during a quiet time, or in the middle of a conversation, perhaps with Jethro.  But, God wanted Moses' attention.  And, He got it.

For the rest of us, it isn't that easy.  I doubt God is going to light up any bushes because I don't have any in my yard.  Besides, if He did, the fire department would be right out and I would be cited for an uncontained fire.  When God wanted Moses' attention, He didn't want an audience.  He didn't want any distraction.  He wanted Moses to focus.  He wanted Moses to know that it was God talking to him.  He wanted Moses' full attention and He knew what it would take.

When God speaks to us, He wants our attention.  How often do we put ourselves in a place where there are no distractions, where we can put our attention on God, hear what He has to say to us, understand what He is doing, and see where He is at work?  Are there regular times in your schedules for when you meet with God and give Him your attention, times of solitude and silence?

Again, Barton states, "At the heart of spiritual leadership is the capacity to notice the activity of God so we can join Him in it."  If we are not spending quality time with God, listening as He speaks to us of His will and the work He is doing, how do we know what to do from one day to the next?  I see between 7 and 10 individuals a day in my office, all of them wanting to know what God would have them to understand, what He is doing, or what He plans to do.  After awhile, the flesh becomes weak, the mind begins to go numb, and I could easily go on autopilot.  But, each of these persons deserves my attention, and they are hoping that I have something to share with them that comes from God, that will bring them peace, hope, joy.  Before I even meet with them, I need to go before the Lord and give Him my attention.  I need to hear from Him before I speak to them.

But, I also need regular times where I come before the Lord and give Him my attention, times when I try to get away from all the distractions.  I want to see what God is doing, where He is at work, to discern His will for me.  To do so, I have to put my attention on Him, keep it on Him, and not allow any distractions.

 

I wanna live like that!

I love to sing in the car, especially when a song like that from Sidwalk Prophets comes on the radio.  I get all pumped and belt it out (as long as no one is next to me at the stoplight).  It feels like I really mean it.  But, do I?  Do I truly want to live like that?  Did you ever wonder:

How does the faith of those listed in Hebrews 11 differ from my own?
What is it that enabled Fox's martyrs to be willing to die for what they believed?
How is it today that persecuted Christians around the world are willing to meet secretly to practice their faith, knowing that if they are caught or found out, they could lose everything, their jobs, their homes, their families, even their own lives?

I would wanna think I could live like that...if that was what was required of me.  Wouldn't you?

Peter wrote to the persecuted Christians of his day, "Those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good (I Peter 4:19)."  That's all well and good, but do we really suffer for God's will in our little world?  That's where I get hung up.  I know that I don't truly suffer for my faith.  I sat today with a former pastor and friend from a church where I used to attend, as we shared stories of injuries from when we played in the church basketball league.  Suffering for my faith?  Not hardly.  Although I have my fair share of trials from time to time, it pales in comparison to real suffering.  I may be embarrassed to share my faith but it isn't because I risk losing my house, my family, my very life.  It isn't because I am afraid of being persecuted?

So, when do I get an opportunity to live like that?

Sometimes, I feel like an imposter.  I feel like a weinie because it is so easy to live out my faith.  The truth is no one cares whether I believe in Jesus and am a follower of His, as long as I keep it to myself.  Or, as long as I manage to be politically correct, or as I like to say, be "sensitive" to those around me, and not "shove my faith down their throats," I am no real threat to anyone and I won't make anyone uncomfortable.  But, is it their comfort I am truly concerned about or is it my own?

I came across a prayer by St. Ignatius of Loyola in Richard Foster's devotional, "A Year With God." 

"Teach us, Lord, to serve You as You deserve and not to count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil and not to seek the rest; to labor and not to seek for any reward, save that of knowing that we do Your will."

What if I lived like that?

I have prayed this prayer for a few weeks now and I am realizing that while I am not called to be a martyr, to experience persecution for what I believe, or to suffer for taking a stand; I can live like that.  And, when I choose to live like that, God can do amazing things through me.  It isn't as easy as it may seem.  If we allow God to search our hearts and are sensitive to the Holy Spirit in our lives, we will see that we need to make sacrifices, to suffer, and experience the enemies persecution.  Maybe, then, I can feel like I am living like that.

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You

If love is who I am
Then this is where I'll stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back

I want to live like that
I want to live like that

http://www.songlyrics.com/sidewalk-prophets/live-like-that-lyrics/#uRBtsiL2hrVstyVL.99

Wanna fight?

"Meet me on the football field after school."  Junior high school had a few frightening moments, but nothing caused my stomach to churn like what I heard coming from Toby's mouth.  This was not an invitation to a friendly game of touch or flag football.  I wish it had been.  I was new and eager to make new friends.  But, on this occasion,  I was being invited to a fight, as the guest of honor.  Don't ask me why.  I don't recall doing anything offensive, other than being puny.  They didn't have Geeks and Nerds in my youth, but I think you get the picture.  Of course, I didn't take them up on their invitation.  Are you kidding!? This guy was a descendant of Anak.  It would not have been a pretty sight.

To this day, I still don't like to fight.  I will avoid one if at all possible.  Sometimes, a fight though can't be avoided.  And, sometimes, a fight is exactly what is needed.  When I do premarital counseling, I ask the couple what they fight about.  If they tell me they have never had a fight, then I tell them they aren't ready to be married.  Fighting, or some other form of conflict is inevitable in any relationship.  Many individuals believe that conflict is to be avoided because it is always destructive.  I believe the opposite is true.  Conflict is to be embraced because it can be constructive.  It can result in growth in relationships, especially in the church.

Conflict is typically about differences between individuals relative to what they want and what they believe is important.  When I teach conflict management, I encourage parties to argue in front of me.  It isn't that I am sadistic and like to see people get hurt.  I want to point out to them where their communication is breaking down.  Quite often, the argument goes something like what I hear at home between my two kids.  "I want this." "I want that."  "That's not fair, he got to choose last time."  "No, I didn't."  "Yes, you did."  "Wanna fight?"

That type of fight is destructive.  It is entirely about self and pride in one's own position (James 1:9-10) and shows a complete lack of concern for the welfare of the other.  Even more significant, if it takes place in the church, it is a total disregard for the body of Christ.  Paul counseled the Philippians, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (Phil. 2:3)."

 I am not advocating that we back down to bullies, especially in the church, and just let them have their own way.  But, we need to take time to consider what people want.  Where we need to focus most of our attention is on why that is so important to them.  When we take the time to listen to what they want and why, they will realize that we care (James 1:19).  And, it may be they have a good point to make, or a perspective that we haven't considered.  Then, they may be more inclined to listen to what we want and why that is important to us.  Ultimately, we may want the same thing...to bring glory to God.  Where we differ may just be in terms of how we want to accomplish that.

So, yes, I do want to fight.  I don't want to avoid conflict; because, that just breeds resentment and bitterness, and often results in hostilities down the road.  But, I want a fight where there is a willingness on both parts to listen, to talk about what we want and what is important, and to find a solution that will honor God and edify the body of Christ.

Meet you on the football field.

Doulos

 

"Totally dude"

"...and when the Lord your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally (Deut. 7:2)!"

The above is part of a lengthy discourse by Moses to the people of Israel who are about to enter the Promised Land.  Moses is sharing all the instructions that have been given him by the Lord for their own good.  Completely annihilating the 7 nations named by Moses seems inconsistent with a God of love, grace, and mercy; unless we understand that their wickedness and immorality was so extreme as to suggest there was no hope for repentance or redemption.  Further, God knew that if the people of Israel allowed any of the other nations to survive, even a remnant, they would eventually be influenced to worship other gods and forget all that the Lord had done for them.  All we have to do is observe what eventually did happen from the time of Solomon on to know this was a real threat.

Relevant?  Totally dude!!!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in his book "The Cost of Discipleship," makes the following statement, "When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die."  Jesus invitation was to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Him.  We sing the song, "I surrender all," but do we really?  Don't we hold back a part of ourselves?  I know that I do.  So long as anything of the old man still exists, it gets in the way of God being able to accomplish His purpose in our lives and ministry.  When we dedicate our lives to the Lord and to do His work, it needs to be an irrevocable giving over of all that we are, all that we have, all that we hope and desire, all that we are able to accomplish.  Whatever idols we worship, whatever gods we serve, whatever matters more to us than doing the will of our heavenly Father, needs to be totally destroyed.  It needs to be completely removed from our lives and from having any possibility of influencing us or distracting and keeping us from doing the Lord's work.

Sometimes we may wonder why all this is so necessary.  Moses reminded the people, "For you are a people holy to the Lord your God.  The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be His people, his treasured possession (7:6)."  We have been set apart for service to God to accomplish His will upon this earth.  It isn't because we deserve it, based upon our own merits, but because He loves us.

"You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light (I Peter 2:9)."

Doulos

Give?

Maybe you have never been bullied.  But have you ever been in a wrestling match where the other guy pinned you to the floor and asked you, “Do you give?”  He wants to know if you have had enough and are ready to give up.  Have you felt like giving up?  I think we all have at one time or another.  I counsel people daily who are weary, tired of fighting, who have had too much.  They are ready to quit.

George Herbert once said, “He begins to die, that quits his desires.”  Maybe you feel that what you desire will never happen.  David writes that God wants to give us our heart’s desire.  Sometimes, that may seem very unlikely, especially given some of the things that may happened that seemed to suggest otherwise.  It isn’t always easy to understand why God wouldn’t want the same thing that we want or why He isn’t doing more to bring it about.

What is it you turn to when you are feeling discouraged, disappointed, in despair?  David suggests we need to find our happiness in the Lord (Ps. 37:4).  You may have seen the movie, “Finding Elmo,” and remember the character, Flo, that would find her happy place whenever she was feeling stressed.  That isn’t what David is talking about here.  David is encouraging us to turn to the Lord whenever we feel like giving up.  He wants us to believe that God truly does want to give us the desires of our heart.

Often, we misinterpret what God may be doing.  When doors appear to close or obstacles appear in our way, we tend to ask the wrong questions, such as,“God, why did You let this happen?”  Or, “God, why didn’t you just (fill in the blank)?”  John Eldredge (Wild At Heart) suggests we should ask a different set of questions, for example, “What are You trying to teach me?” “What is it You want me to see?” I would add, “What is it You may be trying to accomplish through this experience?”

The enemy would rather you believe that you will never be able to be successful.  He is obviously worried that you may be able to accomplish something of significance if he doesn’t do his best to distract you or discourage you.  The writer of Hebrews encourages us to “run with perseverance the race marked out for us…Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart (Heb. 12:1,3).”

Eldredge includes this quote in his book, by William Gurnall.

"As part of Christ's army, you march in the ranks of gallant spirits.  Every one of  your fellow soldiers is the child of a King.  Some, like you, are in the midst of battle, besieged on every side by affliction and temptation.  Others, after many assaults, repulses, and rallyings of their faith, are already standing upon the wall of heaven as conquerors.  From there they look down and urge you, their comrades on earth, to march up the hill after them.  This is their cry: 'Fight to the death and the City is your own, as now it is ours!' "

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not  give up (Gal. 6:9).”

For further study, read the story of Asa in II Chron. 15.

Send Aaron...please!

One of my favorite characters in the Old Testament is Moses.  He is perhaps one of the best known people of the Bible by even those outside of Christendom.  Whole movies have been made about his life and experiences as the leader of the great nation of Israel, numbering several million people.  The miracles he performed are well-documented as are many of his other achievements.  He wrote the first five books of the Scriptures.  Jesus makes reference of him in the Gospels and it is obvious he continued to be held in high regard by all the people of Israel.

But, Moses' legend did not have an auspicious beginning.  If you read Exodus 3-4, you see that when God approached Moses with His plan to use Moses to rescue His chosen ones, Moses didn't think it was such a great idea.  It may be hard for us to conceive of Moses having any doubt at all after God reveals Himself in a burning bush.  You would think that was enough to convince Moses that he could trust God.  But, Moses doubted...not God, but himself.

Maybe you have always been the more confident type and never had to deal with self-doubt, but I doubt it.   I have yet to meet anyone who hasn't at one time or another, had doubts about their ability to carry out an assignment, complete a task, succeed in a plan, or develop a relationship.  That may not seem like the same thing Moses is dealing with here, but whatever we are doing is what the Lord has given us to do.  Paul wrote, "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men (Eph. 6:7)."  Thus, when we falter at the work we do, when we struggle with uncertainty in our roles as parents or spouses, when we doubt our abilities to make the right decisions and choose the right ways, we are being just like Moses.

God's response was not to tell Moses, "Everything will be alright," and,"You can do it."  God turned Moses' attention to Himself.  Each time He responded to Moses' doubts, He replied with a statement about Himself.  "I will be with you."  "I am who I am."  "I will do these miracles to make the Egyptians believe you."  "I will help you."  "I will help you and teach you."  Moses doubted until God finally became quite sharp with him, but God did not change His mind.  Like a parent to a child, God told Moses, "You will do it (because I said so)."  Ring a bell?

The good news is that God can still work with us even when we doubt.  I look back over the many years that I have been following Christ and realize that I haven't always trusted God could work through me; and yet, He has accomplished some spectacular things that I would never have imagined were possible.  I am eternally grateful for this and, as I have grown in my appreciation of His love for me and my awareness that He does have a plan as to what He wants to accomplish through me, I have been able to respond with trust and obedience and been able to see even greater things take place.

I would encourage you, don't wait.  Put your trust in God that he can work through you even when you doubt that you have anything to offer.  He asks you as He asked Moses, "What is that in your hand?"  Whatever it is, that is all He needs.

Godspeed, Doulos (God's servant) Phil
 

Theodicy...God's Justice

".Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure...(Ps. 73:13)."

Although not in these words, the individual in front of me was saying something similar.  There was some anger in his voice, similar to the writer of this Psalm; who, apparently suffering some physical affliction (v. 14) and feeling somewhat oppressed (v. 8), was wondering why God would allow those who were giving him such a hard time, to get off without God doing something about it.  The gentleman had tried to live right, obey God, and be a good father and husband.  In spite of this, he was experiencing physical and emotional pain, hurt, and disappointment.  And, some of that was aimed towards God.  It just didn't seem just.

It sometimes appears that those outside of God's will are the ones who prosper, who are without struggles, healthy and strong, and "free from the burdens common to man (vv. 3-5)."  "Carefree" is how the author describes their lives...until he stops to think from God's perspective (17).  Then, he realizes their future destiny and how God will eventually dispense justice upon them for their arrogance and their pride.  He was also reminded of how God was always with him (v. 23ff), holding his right hand, guiding and giving him counsel.  At this, he changes his tune and remarks, "Being with you, I don't desire anything else on earth (v. 25)."

God doesn't mind the questionning, the angry emotions, the doubt and uncertainty.  But, God is just.  We may not see how it is just that He allows difficulties and trials, failures, and frustrations, and even oppression.  He is willing to help us gain a perspective that will help us at times like these.  It requires we come before Him with our concerns, as the Psalter did.  "Authentic prayer is a scraping of the heart whereby the dregs of the soul are offered up to God (Foster, "A Year with God")."  Prayer, at times like these, Foster says are for the strengthening and the reshaping of our own hearts.  We need to be open to God's changing our perspective.


 

Regret

"The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives."--Albert Schweitzer

"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self (Luke 9:25)."

When I was about 9 or 10, my dad was a volunteer chaplain at Michigan City Prison.  As such, he was allowed to accompany a group of prisoners outside the prison walls, where they would put on a program in churches, singing and sharing the Gospel.  I will never forget a man named Frank Dunn who was in prison for life with no chance of parole.  He had a beautiful bass voice and sang a song that haunts me to this day, "Wasted Years."

I praise God that He redeemed what was left of Frank's life and used it to His glory.  But, it reminds me of how important it is to allow God to redeem the days we have left.  There are times I regret the years I wasted when I was not in a relationship with God; but, I also regret that even as a follower of Christ, I still waste a lot of time, resources, opportunities, focusing on what I want and my will instead of God's.

Right before Jesus made this statement recorded by Luke, He told His disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."  Being a good steward isn't only about our money and giving our tithes.  It is also about giving our time, our energy, our other resources, our talents and abilities, our hearts, minds, and all of our strength.

Being a true disciple of Jesus is also about realizing that there are others around us who are wasting their lives, not at all fulfilled, in need of knowing the Savior that we serve.  Let's not waste another moment.  Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind all that we are able to do, what He would have us to do, and how we can reach others for Jesus.

Godspeed, Doulos

 

Terminated!

Recently, several of the individuals I have been working with lost their jobs.  In today's economy that can be a very scary thing.  It can lead to feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, and discouragement.  In times like that, it can be very difficult to trust God.  Why would He allow this sort of thing to happen?

In Daniel 6, we read of a Biblical hero who lost his job.  Daniel was a devout follower of the Lord.  He was also an exile, a young man who had been taken as a prisoner and removed from his homeland and made to serve the king.  So, to begin with, this wasn't the dream job he had hoped for coming out of college.  Nonetheless, Daniel "so distinguished himself...by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom (6:3)."  What were these "exceptional qualities?"  Daniel was "trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent (v. 4)."  Daniel was a man of integrity, such that when those who were jealous of him attempted to find fault in him, there was none to be found.  The only way they were able to get to Daniel was to deceive the king into passing a law against praying to any man or god other than the king.  Daniel continued his practice of praying to his God and lost his job.  He almost lost his life, but you probably know that part of the story (if not, read it).

When I was a younger Christian, I remember the challenge, "If you were on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?"  Daniel had done nothing wrong.  The individuals I mentioned above did not lose their jobs because they had done something wrong.  In fact, in one situation, the individual had left her job because she believed God would not want her to continue working in that environment.

It still isn't certain why God did allow these individuals to lose their jobs.  I don't believe God is ever caught off guard.  He knew what was going to happen and He continues to have a plan and a purpose for each one of them.  This wasn't about God punishing them.  I also don't believe it is about God needing to grow them in some way, nor using this as a form of discipline.  I am not certain it is about them at all.  At times like this, we search for what God may be wanting us to do, how He would have us to handle the situation, what He would have us to learn.  Sometimes, all God wants is for us to trust and obey.

Daniel survived "because he trusted in his God."  As a result, the king "wrote to all the peoples, nations and men of every language throughout the land...people must fear and reverance the God of Daniel.  For He is the living God and He endures forever; His kingdom will not be destroyed, His dominion will never end.  He rescues and He saves; He performs signs and wonders, in the heavens and on the earth (vv. 26-27)."

We need to trust God even when we lose our jobs, even when we end up in a pit full of hungry lions.  As hard as it is to face these types of trials, we need to continue to trust and obey God.  Our experiences, as Daniel's, can be used to bring glory to God.

 

Summon bonum

"Summon bonum" is Latin for "the highest good" or "the supreme good."  What is the highest good?  There are many good things that we enjoy in our lives.  I enjoy good food, a good book, a good friend.  But, is that the highest good?  I know many good people who do good things.  There are many good things that we could do.  But, what is the highest good?

Jesus said, "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul (Mk. 8:36)."  By way of contrast, Jesus is saying that to pursue the things of this world and to make these our priority could be very costly.  I know many, and I am sure so do you, that have wasted their lives on the pursuit of wealth, status, position, or reputation.  But, we are admonished not to become attached to the "things of this world (I John 2:15-16)."  Though God is not against personal wealth or any of these other things, these should not be our goals.  Paul was able to say that he had learned to be content with plenty and want (Phil. 4:12).  When we fail to be content with what is from the Lord, we miss out on what His plan is for our lives.  Are we willing to spend our whole lives pursuing what others have referred to as the "good life," if that means that we miss out on the blessings of seeing God working through us and accomplishing His purpose?  Are we willing to make these things a priority if it means we neglect our relationship with our Lord and, ultimately, lose our own soul?

And what about the souls of others?  Are we willing to do only the good that brings us pleasure if it means that others are lost for eternity.  Jesus made it clear that the greatest good that we can do is to love God and to love one another (Mk. 12:31).  What did He mean when He referred to this type of love?  He also said, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13)."  This means we are willing to forego the pleasures of this world (I John 2:15-16), so that the love of God can flow through us to those in need.  That is God's purpose for us.  "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Eph. 2:10)."

Godspeed, The Teacher

God Space

I am sure you have heard of the importance of creating and using green space.  This week I read a report from a neuropsychologist recommending a client make use of green space to help relieve some of her stress.  What she was suggesting was that the client find some place "green" to get away from the sources of her stress to be able to relax (think woods or park here).  Her life was out of balance, too full of the things that were taking from her and not enough of what was giving back.

Over the years, I have worked with a number of individuals whose lives were out of balance.  Some issue had become a major drain on their lives.  Their personal lives were affected, their marriages, their relationship with their children, their work, and even their faith.  They often shared how they had turned to something else to try and re-establish the balance in order to feel better.  I remember a young guy who confessed he had been drinking more coffee during the day to keep himself going, and then having to drink more wine at night to be able to calm down.  Others turn to food, prescription or illegal drugs, pornography, affairs, or sometimes more extreme measures.  The imbalance can lead to depression, stress/anxiety, panic attacks, heart problems, just to name a few of the possible consequences of this type of imbalance in an individual's life.

As I spoke with this young man, it was obviuos how he had gotten there.  It was the result of taking on too many additional responsibilities at a time when he was ill-prepared to do so.  He had stopped his regular practice of Bible study and prayer.  As a result, he was missing out on being able to know what God's will was for him in his situation.  My recommendation to him was to create more "God space" in his life.

Paul writes in Phil. 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  I don't know who said it first, but it is a profound truth, "No God, no peace.  Know God, know peace."  Unless we are willing to spend time with God, we cannot know His will and, thus, we cannot know His peace.  God cannot work to bring about peace unless we are first willing to create space for Him to work.  This is not a one-time deal.  Paul says this is in every situation, i.e., work, family, social life, every situation.  We need to present all of our lives to Him and be willing to let go of anything that is not a part of His plan for us.  This may take time because of commitments we have already made.  But, it will be well worth it.

"It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life (The Message)."

Equipt2Lead

Equipt: "Provided or fitted out with what is necessary or useful or appropriate."
This particular word best describes my purpose in writing.  It is my prayer that you will be more fully equipt to lead...as the Lord directs you.  The "2" in the title of my blog also has significance.  So much of the reason that we don't experience success in relation to work or family or in our personal lives, is the direct result of our trying to do things on our own.  Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matt. 11:28-30)."  A yoke is a cumbersome thing, but it is intended for two oxen, working together in accomplishing the same task.  How can a yoke be "easy and light?"  Jesus is in it with you...as long as you are in God's will for your life.  Neil T. Anderson, in his book, "Victory Over the Darkness," points out that when an experience or relationship leaves us feeling angry, anxious, or depressed, it is most likely because we are pursuing a goal that is not of God.  It is something that we desire that may be outside of His will for our lives.  Jesus' message is, "My  yoke is easy and light."  But, that is true only as we learn from Him.  His life is an example of how we should live ours, in a way that is pleasing and honoring to God.  If you attempt to go it alone, or your efforts take you outside of God's will, then you will experience frustration, anger, anxiety, or depression.  At that point, you need to pause and examine your heart to determine where you may have gotten off course.  Chances are you have slipped out of your yoke.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails (Prov. 19:21)."

The Heart...Above All Else

The majority of references to the heart in Scripture has to do with the basic human nature of man.  As in Gen. 6:5 and 8:21, the heart is considered to be the seat of sin.  Nouwen states that the heart is “…the place to which Satan directs his fiercest attacks (Nouwen, 1999, p. 77).”  However, the heart is also noted to be the place where God dwells and works to bring about renewal (Jer. 31:33; Ps. 51:10).

When David was passing the baton to Solomon, he said to him, “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion...for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts.  If you seek him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever (I Chron. 28:9-10).”  Later, Solomon expressed his own understanding of the importance of the heart when he would write, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life (Prov. 4:23).”  I prefer the rendering in the King James Version, “out of it are the issues of life.”

Nearly every struggle imaginable can be traced to its roots in something that is wrong with the heart.  Couples in conflict, parents with out-of-control youngsters, adults struggling with self-esteem, depression, or anxiety, and individuals dealing with a particular behavior that is ruining their lives, all have something to do with issues of the heart.  In the same way, what keeps us from experiencing the abundant life that Jesus promised is also a matter of our heart.

The cure is to work towards a total devotion of our hearts to God, a commitment that most of us are not willing to make.  The fact that the Lord searches our hearts suggests that we should ask Him to help us appreciate what needs to change about our hearts so that we are able and willing to do this.  We need to be diligent in our pursuit, willing to do whatever it takes to surrender our hearts to Him and His will for us.  David writes, “Take delight in the Lord (total devotion), and He will give you the desires of your heart (Ps. 37:3).”